An Open letter to Samsung Overlords

Imagine this scene. You are in a cabin in the middle of a nice green forest. It’s a big cabin with a chimney helping keep things warm and cosy. And you are having a conversation with a special someone.

That someone is the Chief Overlord at Samsung.

Now I do realise you might not really want to be with that person in such a nice scenario, but to seduce Samsung into listening to us, we take them there. What would you tell Samsung then? Now you can’t really ask them to make everything full of gold and sell it at a dollar.

But what reasonable request would you make to them?

When readers at The Verge were asked this, they came up with a nice set on answers. While a lot of them involved proving the earlier commenters lack of intellect, some actually made sense. And based on those, we write this open letter to Samsung.

Dear Samsung Overlord,

Hi! How are you doing? Hope all is well. Pay my regards to your big semiconductor manufacturers and wish them well.

You have become the poster-boy for android phones today. We all love toys like the HTC One, but whom are we kidding? It’s mostly you or the Fruity Company called Apple. And many of us choose not to get sucked into a black hole like universe created by someone with a lot of Jobs. Maybe we just can’t afford it, but that is not the focus of this conversation.

The most important thing: COULD YOU PLEASE MAKE YOUR PHONES LOOK BETTER? Like pretty please with pinkey swear and all that shit.

We all get that plastics are awesome. Hell we even cheat the government for it. Our city municipal corporation thought them banning plastic bags was the end of things. We still defied them. But please stop using that across each and every phone you make. Like across all of it.

It’s a surprise you haven’t invented a plastic alternatives for electronic semiconductors!

I know you are trying. The Note 3 you made was a nice progress in that direction. But the past you have with your Galaxy S4 and The Note 2 is a little difficult to forget. Anyway, the past is the past and we all will try to forget it.

Now the voices do have some other demands. But to be honest they really don’t matter that much. The features you provide are enough for the next three decades anyway. (*Insert a No followed by a first world problem here. Eg. No but how will I use the NFC enabled hyperloop Barbie doll payment system while buying my less fat milk?*) So you can safely ignore everything else.

I started this letter thinking I would ask for a lot. Turns out I just want one thing – Shallow outwardly looks. You are a great phone from the inside, and that’s why people have loved you so far.

But now please, let me be able to look at you with some love.

Yours Lovingly,

Annoying tech reader/critic

What would you want to say to Samsung? Share You Views in the comments below.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *